Better Off Dead
by Smarley
Summary: Sam's first kill was supposed to be with his brother, Dean had always planned it like that. But plans don't always work out, and sometimes first kills are not always so black and white. Sam 14 Dean 18 Limp!Sam Protective Dean Title change from Heroes
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay this is a quick one I wrote up, it jumped in my head suddenly and refused to leave until I wrote it down, just my take on what may have happened on Sammy's first kill. I am working on Feed the children, fear not those who are reading that. I wasn't going to post this, but after some thought I caved, and here it is. So let me know if you enjoyed. **

**Thank you to my wonderful beta who got this back so quick.**

**Disclaimer: Please if I owned these boys you think I would be writing fanfiction with them? **

**ENJOY**

The gun sounded, echoed, tainting the night with an awful red as it made contact with its target, while the shooter just stared, stunned.

It was supposed to be simple, Sam was out with his brother and father. A pack of werewolves had moved through the small town of Borden, killing off the small town one by one. But this, this wasn't simple.

It had been a loud night, the werewolves being picked off and angered as the pack dwindled. But Sam heard nothing but the gurgle of the body laying ten feet in front of him. Everything else was silent as he walked toward the still living body, the young girl, the child he had shot, his first kill.

The young girl gurgled as she looked up at him, fear in her eyes, she couldn't have been more than ten. Sam knew he had to end it, knew Dean would do it, but he couldn't. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, eyes welling. "I'm so so sorry."

He couldn't help the sob that came over him. His hands pulled at the hair around his ears as the gurgle continued. "Please, just die already." he begged as he knelt beside her, his jeans soaking with the young girls' blood.

"Sammy?!"

It was faint, but the youngest Winchester heard it as it ricocheted off the forest walls. It was the first thing he had heard, and it blocked the gurgle ever so slightly.

"Sammy?!" came through again as Sam felt a firm grip pull him up from his knees. His vision torn away from the twitching body, replaced with his brothers face.

"Sammy?" Dean said gently as he guided Sam away. "Come on Sammy, talk to me."

Sam tried, but he couldn't find the words, "D-dean, I-I."

Dean didn't need to hear anything else as he brought his brother close, silently checking for any external wounds. "Its okay little brother, I got it now. You've done good Sammy." Dean tried to coax Sam out of his current gaze. He knew it was his brothers' first kill, something Dean had tried so hard to keep from his brother. Sam wasn't supposed to kill things, Dean never wanted this for his brother.

The older brother laughed as he put his jacket around Sam's shaking form,"You got ahead of yourself there Sammy, thought we were gonna have our first together."

"Dean, she's, she's just a kid, I thought…" Sam couldn't finish as a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek.

"I know Sammy, just go back to the car, Dad's just finishing up. I'll be right behind you" Dean replied as he mussed Sam hair, turning the young boy toward the direction of the car.

"Dean, I…"

"Go Sam."

"Just tell her I'm sorry… please."

Dean could feel his heart break for his brother, "I will Sammy."

Sam nodded, knowing his brother would. He walked slowly back to the car, head down, flinching when the gun sounded from his brothers gun, as reality sunk in, he had killed a little girl.

Sam sadness was overwhelming as he thought of the young girl laying on the ground. Why hadn't he known, why didn't their dad tell him there was a child, why did he have to kill her. Sam clenched his fists as his sadness quickly turned, his heart beating hard, his pulse throbbing behind his ears as the Impala came into view.

He could see his father in the distance, a fire was burning, Sam stared at the flames that danced in the air as he watched his brother come into view, small body in tow. The younger brothers anger was boiling as he watched the body get tossed in the fire.

"I did that" He whispered, his voice dripping with disdain as tears fell like rain down his cheeks. "I did that." He repeated louder his fists clenched as his lower lip quivered. "I did that!" he screamed as his fist flew through the air, connecting with the passenger side window on the Impala.

He didn't feel his fist go through, didn't feel his skin ripping as he pulled it out, didn't feel the blood dripping off his hand. All he felt was the pain of killing the little girl, ripping him apart far worse than any window.

Sam fell to his knees as he beat his fists on the ground, it wasn't supposed to be like this, his father had always told him they hunted evil, they were the heroes. But how could he be a hero when he killed children, _how?_

"He lied," Sam mumbled as he caught his breath, his body tiring as the sobs continued. "How could he lie to me?"

"Sam?" His fathers gruff voice sounded from behind.

"You lied to me." Sam said as he got up, turning to his father, "How could you lie to me?! I thought we were the heroes Dad!" Sam yelled as he walked closer to his father, not caring about whether or not he met his fathers' approval. "From what I've read heroes don't kill kids Dad."

"Sam, she was turned, the whole family had been, she was evil, she had to go." John replied, not backing down from his son who was almost as tall as him. "You back down Sam, you did your job, and it sucks, I never said it would be easy."

"No dad, you didn't. But you also never told us that it was a family." Sam didn't back down as he walked up to his fathers face, "You never told us." he seethed.

"It doesn't matter what they were, all that matters is what they are, and they were ALL werewolves." John replied as he matched up with his son, pushing slightly against his youngest son, showing this new attitude from his youngest boy exactly who was the dominant figure in the family.

Sam could feel his brother beside him, slowly making his way between him and John. "Come on you two, since when do we fight like this?" Dean pleaded.

"Since Dad lies to us now." Sam answered back, watching as something in his father twitched. Before he knew it his fathers strong grip had his shirt in its grasp, pushing him back against a tree, leaving Dean standing there dumbfounded.

"Don't you push me boy, don't you push me! I only do what's best for you two."

"Dad!" Dean yelled as he saw the glimpse of fear in Sam's eyes. "Enough!" He yelled as he got in between the two. He could feel his younger brother shaking. "Back off Dad, we need to get Sammy to hospital." he argued, knowing his father might be angry, but he still wanted what was best for Sam, and he knew Sam had messed up his hand.

"Get in the car." John muttered as he spared one final glance at his youngest son, a wave of guilt washing over him, but he didn't let it show.

Sam let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he watched his father turn away. The adrenaline starting to die down causing his hand to start to throb, unconsciously the youngest boy pulled the injured hand close to his body.

"Jesus Sammy, you thinking of painting the car red? Or just going for a hip new look, because I don't think the cut up hand trend is going to catch." Dean said lightly as he wrapped Sam's hand, trying to stop the flow of blood. His brother had gone white, and he wasn't sure what from, the night having been packed full of interesting events, all of which were probably leading his younger brother into shock as the small quiver that ran through his body became more pronounced.

"She shouldn't have died Dean." Sam said quietly as he walked towards the car, his legs going numb as he felt his brothers' grip tighten around his midsection.

"Sam, dad's right, she had to die. This world has no shades of gray, its black and white Sammy, what's evil dies, and evil has no age or limit." Dean said as he stopped his brother before getting into the car. "You did good tonight Sammy, besides your mini meltdown, but what can you expect from a guy who likes Titanic."

Sam smiled, "Shut up, you just don't have taste in movies."

"It was Leo wasn't it? Did you get lost in his eyes Samantha?"

"Whatever." Sam smiled as he sat back in the seat of the Impala, his brother right beside him, arm wrapped over his shoulders as the car revved up and started to pull away from the forests edge. Sam watched as the gray smoke mixed with the black night, he knew there were shades of gray that his brother and father just couldn't see. He also knew that he was no longer the hero he thought he once was.

**AN: Hope it was A OK. I suppose I could do another chapter on this, not sure if I will yet. But it is brewing. : )**


	2. Chapter 2

It was a dingy room there father had chosen, he had been a quic

**AN: well I'm trying to get over my rut, and I figure the best way is to keep writing ,no matter what I'm putting out haha. Sorry folks. Well here is an extra chapter for Heroes which has now turned into multi-chapter, Not sure how long though. **

**Hope you enjoy, and if anyone has any suggestions on where they would like to see the story go, I'm keeping it open. **

**Thanks macs ace for the beta once again : )**

**ENJOY**

The small town hospital had been quiet, apparently at midnight people in the small town of Bordon preferred to stay in bed rather than make a trip to the hospital. Which was a good thing for the Winchester family. Sam had been registered and stitched up within two hours.

Now they sat in a dingy motel, in the middle of nowhere. Sam had noted that their car had been the only one in the parking lot - other than the managers car - when their father had dropped them off. He hadn't even bothered to come in with them, just ordered them to turn in for the night. He was going to make sure everything was taken care of at the hunt since they'd had to leave so quickly.

The blood was still boiling between Sam and his father, Dean being the only one who could break the tension. But nothing Dean could say would make Sam feel any better about his father's last comments before he drove off.

It had been a slap in Sam's face when his father told him to stay, and that Dean had to watch him. Sam knew he had disappointed his father, had let him down by not only showing emotion on a hunt, but also because of how he had challenged his fathers authority.

Sam had never stood up to his father to that extent, sure he had been angry with John for dragging him away from school or missing a play, but Sam had never questioned hunting like that before, and he knew it had shocked not only his father but Dean as well.

Everything about hunting had suddenly changed for Sam, it wasn't the same, it would never be the same. There were certain areas of hunting that Sam didn't agree with, in fact certain areas about hunting that he hated. The more he saw it, the more he was involved with it the more he started to realize it wasn't for him.

He wasn't the type of person to conform to a certain set of rules, he knew that, even at his age, he liked to explore different options, and there were no different options in hunting, there was one way, and one way only. It was supposed to be about killing the supernatural, and saving people along the way, but what if not all supernatural was evil?

His hand throbbed as he sat silently next to his brother, his mind racing as he contemplated his role in hunting, the glow of the television flickered in the dark room but he wasn't paying any attention to it.

His brother nudged him, knowing that he was lost in his thoughts. Sam hadn't expected Dean to sit beside him, and he wasn't going to admit it, but he was glad his brother had. The comfort his brother offered was enough to quell his racing mind, if only slightly.

"You did good tonight Sammy." Dean said quietly, never taking his gaze off the television.

Sam shook his head, "don't say that."

"Sam, I never wanted your first kill to be like that, I wanted to be there." Dean said finally looking over, his eyes glazed with hidden emotions.

Sam knew his brother was torn, not about killing the girl, just that Sam had done it alone.

"I would have never let you do it if I'd have known." Dean said quietly, a rare moment between the brothers that Sam wasn't used to, "I know," he replied quietly, a silent tear falling as Dean pulled him in close.

The younger brother wasn't sure how long they sat like that, his brother's hold chasing everything away, making things seem brighter and clearer. "You should go wash up, and I'll take a look at that hand before we turn in." Dean said, stretching his long arms as he moved to his duffel to retrieve the first aid kit.

Sam's movements were sluggish; the nights' emotionally exhausting events having drained him of all his energy, he just wanted to crawl into the motel bed and forget about what had happened. Brushing his teeth and nothing more he stumbled back into the room.

His sluggish movements abandoned him as soon as he looked at his brother; Deans face filled with mixed emotions. He was on the phone, and it didn't look like it was good news.

"Dad?!" Dean called out pacing the room, trying desperately to hear their father on the other end. "Dad?!"

Sam could see the fear in his brother actions as he hung up the phone, sinking to the bed, head in his hands. "Dean? What?"

"Dad's in trouble." Was his only reply as he gathered their things, they had to go out and find their father.

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Tying all loose ends was important on any hunt, but when it came to werewolves it was imperative that all ends were finished, salted and burned.

If even one member of the pack was not killed they could track John and his boys down, the scent of his family was littered around the forest, Sam's scattered blood from his hand would leave a nice trail for any remaining pack members.

But he was certain that he had gotten them all, it was one family, two parents, three children, he had spent hours researching. All witness accountants having documented seeing only five werewolves at one time, he was sure he was in the good; he just had to make sure they all burned till they were ash.

But when John pulled up to the pack of burning wolves and saw a figure hunched over the fire, his heart began to race, his mistake evident in the hunched back, the long claws, and the black fur… there was one left.

Killing the loud motor on the Impala he got out, gun in hand, he had to finish the pack to make sure that there was no kin left to hunt him and his boys down. He moved quickly and quietly, silently berating himself for not killing all of the kin, for putting his boys at risk for a stupid mistake.

Getting close to the forests edge he stopped, his gun pointing at the figure that appeared to be mourning the loss of its family. John raised the gun, his eyes trained on the dark form, only to be surprised when the black eyes of the wolf looked at him.

"Shit" John muttered, he had been seen and he didn't have time to take proper aim, he fired. The bullet grazing through the air, John watched as it went, his trained eye tracking the bullet until it made it to the intended target.

His target who had also been tracking it, dodged it quite easily before disappearing into the dark night, its black fur mixing with the forests edge.

John didn't waste any time, running back to his car, flipping open his phone, the signal was bad but it didn't matter. His tires squealing as he made the call, he needed to warn his boys, he needed to be with his boys, and he knew he wasn't going to make it before the wolf did.

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The room was quiet as the boys gathered their things, they didn't have to think twice about going out to get their father. The dull ache and exhaustion that had been plaguing Sam disappeared once he'd heard their father needed them.

Both boys moved with a sense of urgency, their trained senses coming back to life at the threat to the family, it was one of the only reasons Dean had heard it. It was a faint rustling on the outside of the window, the sound of nails and glass meeting, in a slow and rhythmic manner.

He stopped to look, moving the curtain back his wary eyes looking over the parking lot, but he saw nothing. Closing the blinds he went back to getting his things ready, only to hear the scratching once again.

Turning to Sam he saw that his brother had heard it too. Moving cautiously towards the door, Sam at his heels, weapon drawn, he opened the door.

He was met with nothing, the lot was empty, not even a car had gone by in the last hour, "What the hell?" he mumbled as he started to close the door.

Gazing out into the parking lot once more, his instincts screamed that something wasn't right, as a blur of black came screaming towards him, knocking him out of the way, his head connecting hard against the wall.

The blast of the shotgun and his brother's yell were the last things he heard before he fell to the floor, darkness coming over him.

**AN: That's it hope for this chapter its okay : )**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: One more chapter to go : ) Hope everyone is still enjoying

Thanks macs ace for the beta

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Everything happened quickly, the despair of killing the girl quickly disappeared, Sam's veins filling with the adrenaline and fear at the wolf that now lunged towards him.

He swore loudly, his thin frame moving quickly through the room, just avoiding the wolf's grasp. "Dean?!" He called out, his brother was his first concern as he stood facing the wolf, he had watched Dean go down hard, not sure if he was okay.

After receiving no response, Sam quickly searched for the weapon filled duffel bag that always accompanied them when they were in a motel room. He spotted the duffel behind the wolf, _of course, _he thought bitterly. Unconsciously putting himself between the wolf and his brother. Sam listened closely, blocking the loud raspy breathing of the wolf, he heard the soft murmur of his brother, and it made him feel much better knowing that Dean was only unconscious.

Once his mind calmed slightly for Dean, his hunting instincts kicked in to full gear as he struggled to control his breathing and the slight tremble of fear that had started to make its way through his body.

'_Just stay out of its reach' _he chanted as he watched the wolf. They stood their staring for what Sam felt like was forever, his eyes starting to blur with the shape of the wolf. His mind perked up, catching the almost invisible twitch from the wolf before it bounded across the room.

Sam lunged to the right, picking up the large phone, ripping it from the wall as he struck the wolf. Taking advantage of the slight pause of shock from the massive creature he struck again. Moving the killer away from his brother, who was beginning to stir on the motel floor.

A chanced glance down at his brother, whose lids fluttered open, was a costly one as the wolf attacked. Taking Sam across the room, landing between the two double beds, the wolf on top of his thin frame. The bright flare of pain danced across Sam's vision as a massive claw dug into his shoulder, effectively pinning him to the floor.

'_Shit, shit shit' _Sam's mind screamed as he held his hands up keeping the massive jaw, which was dangerously close to his neck, away.

His voice becoming hoarse, unable to keep the yells of pain at bay as the sharp claws ripped away at his shoulder. Feeling his arms beginning to weaken, the massive jaws coming closer and closer. Sam held back the urge to vomit at the rank breath that was now invading his nostrils.

The blood was warm running down his wrist, the stitches he had been given at the hospital not withstanding to the pressure of the wolf's brute force. Sam breathed a sigh of relief as the wolf lifted its head, bringing some relief to his arms. A loud howl sounded, Sam thought his eardrums were going to explode. The wolf looked back down, its mouth snapping, Sam tried to concentrate on breathing, watching as the wolf readied back a massive claw, its nails glinting in the soft light.

'_This is it' _Sam thought, not sure what to do, how to win. Instead he did the only thing he could think of. "Dean! Help!"

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As soon as Dean woke he could feel the intense energy in the room, his mind calling out to help, but the haze that currently invaded his vision made it hard to act quick.

He stumbled to get up, glancing over to the black mass between the beds, Sam's screams filled the room, and the haze quickly lifted.

Dean watched in horror at the large jaws that snapped at his brother, whose hands vainly held the wolf at bay.

He had to work quickly; Sam's life depended on it. Resisting the urge to just jump on the wolf's back, Dean cleared his mind, he needed a gun. Spotting the duffel across the room, he jumped over the beds, not worrying about a surprise attack of any kind. The wolf seemed to be focused on Sam and Sam only, and that sent a wave of panic through Dean, urging his hands to move quicker until they found the cool metal they were looking for.

Swinging the gun around, he didn't hesitate in firing the gun. The wolf rearing only slightly as the claw he had extended in the air came down. Dean could feel his world crumbling around him as he heard his brother scream his name. He fired again, and again. Emptying the clip into the large beast who finally fell back.

Dean watched as the wolf changed back into its human form, the man wasn't much smaller than the wolf had been. The naked form desperately trying to gasp in breaths of air, his chest struggling, his mouth foaming, and his eyes full of fury.

"He killed my family." He gurgled as Dean stood before him, gun re-loaded and pointing at the mans head. "He deserves to suffer the injustice he has caused my kin." The wolf coughed, blood spilling over the edges of his mouth.

The gun sounded off one last time as Dean felt the satisfaction of killing the miserable supernatural fuck who thought it was justice to hurt his brother.

A small whimper brought Dean back to reality, instantly kneeling next to his brother, whose sweat soaked bangs clung to his pale face, dark circles around his eyes becoming more pronounced. Dean held him close, Sam's back against his chest, applying as much pressure as he could to the claw marks that marred his brothers pale skin on his shoulder. They didn't look too deep, and Dean was thankful for that, it was something that could be stitched in the motel room instead of another trip to the hospital.

"D-dean?" Sam whispered, looking at the naked body that lay in front of him. Dean knew that Sam had heard everything the wolf had said.

"Don't be a pervert Sam." Dean said as he gently turned his brothers head, laying it on his chest. He didn't want the thoughts of the girl to be brought back up.

Sam didn't question, nor did he resist, instead he buried his head into Dean's chest, relishing in the comfort of the soft heartbeat. "You're the pervert." Sam answered back.

Dean could feel the ghost of a smile against his chest, "Nice come back Sammy."

Both boys tensed at the sound of an approaching car, relaxing only when they heard the loud purr of the impala. Their father's heavy footsteps against the pavement, his loud boots stopping once he entered the room, surveying the damage in front of him, "Sam? Dean?"

"Here" Dean called back, shifting slightly, keeping a hand on Sam's chest so as not to move him, poking his head over the edge of the bed, their father by their side in an instant.

The older brother watched as John quickly assessed the damage. "Any bites?"

Dean could feel the slight recoil in his brother at the mention of bites. Dean didn't wait for Sam to answer, he didn't know if there were any bites, but it didn't matter. "No sir."

"Lets get him on the bed." John ordered, helping Sam stand a little rougher than Dean would have liked, as he heard the gasp of pain from his brother, he couldn't help but flinch.

Dean tried to follow suit, but standing was proving more difficult then he remembered, the world rushing towards him, spinning out of control. He knew he had to have a concussion from being knocked out, but he wasn't expecting it to be as bad as it currently was.

He could hear Sam who was now laying on the bed, his fathers attention having shifted over to Dean's side, gripped under his arms, "He was knocked out."

Dean wanted to complain as he was lifted on to the other bed, he wanted to be on the same bed as Sam.

"Just for now." John said, reading his eldest boys thoughts.

Dean nodded, looking over to his brother whose pale skin contrasted with the sharp color of the blood. Making eye contact with Sam, letting him know that everything was okay, he was right there. Always feeling like he had to remind Sam that he would always be there for him, that the younger brother would somehow forget. Sam smiled, "Go to sleep Dean." He said quietly.

Dean could feel his body beginning to relax, finally allowing his eyes to roll back, praying that there were no bites that stained his brother.

AN: Let me know what you think, the last chapter is on its way, I'm on a writing frenzy and reviews fuel my frenzy haha. : )


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN: This is it, I hope everyone enjoyed the extra chapters I put on, sorry about screwing up the ages, I fixed that right up. Let me know what you think. _**

**_Thanks to everyone who has read I really appreciate it : )_**

**_Thanks macs ace for the beta_**

**_ENJOY_**

The night had become suddenly still, there was no sound as Dean watched his little brother hover over the small girl, his conflicting emotions written plainly across his features.

"Sam" he tried to call, his voice falling silent against the wind, it wasn't his brother's fault the girl had died, he was doing his job, doing what he was told.

Sam turned, his eyes full of sorrow, looking for Dean to make it better, _'Hold on Sammy, I'm coming' _

His mind telling his feet to move, he stayed firmly planted to the ground. The shrubs encasing his feet. Sam's call for him whispering over the gentle wind, he clawed at the plants that held him tight, his fingers bleeding, tainting the green to a sharp red.

His need to get to Sam overruling any pain he felt, his hands moving as quick as they could. But it didn't matter, the vines continued to creep further and further up his legs. "Fuck off!" Dean yelled at the shrubs, his hands falling to his sides, a dark shadow cast above him.

Looking up to the dark fur, which was accompanied with a low growl, sharp claws digging in to his soft flesh, ripping it easily as the large hands stood him up. His mind ready for the fight, the fangs shining in the pale moonlight, dangerously close to his face. But he didn't move, locking eyes with the creature.

Heart hammering, stomach dropping, the figure may be different, but the wolf's eyes didn't hide who stood covered in the black fur, "Sam?"

"Would you kill me?" Sam asked, his voice booming through Dean's head, "Because I would kill you."

Dean didn't have time to react as the claw sliced through the air.

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The room twisted as he sat up straight, his body coated in a cold sweat and a small shiver running through him, looking over at Sam, his eyes closed in a drug-induced sleep.

Dean's stomach turned, he ran to the washroom, not sure if the vomiting was from the dream or the concussion.

Head hung over the toilet, sweat dripping into the bowl that was permanently stained an awful yellow, it was almost enough to make him lose what little he had left in his stomach all over again.

Trying to calm his breathing, his thoughts wandering back to his dream, _'hewasn'tbittenhewasn'tbittenhewasn'tbitten…'_ chanting through his mind, slowly finding his equilibrium he stood on shaky legs, willing his legs to move him in front of the mirror. Shocked to see his reflection, his face withdrawn and ashen, dark circles under his eyes, the sweat beaded along his hairline. He turned the tap on, waiting for the water to become warm, relishing in its heat, its purity washing across his skin, taking the beaded drops of sweat with it as it cascaded back into the sink, Dean wished it would take the dream as well.

Drawing a shaky breath in he walked out of the washroom, his mind finally grasping the condition of the room, his father gone, the wolf's body gone with him. Soft rustling of sheets bringing his attention back to his younger brother whose exposed abdomen revealed the thick white gauze that covered where stitches had probably gone in.

Sam's breaths coming in short hard gasps, whimpering louder, trapped in his own nightmare.

Dean moved automatically, ignoring the bed he had woken up in, walking straight to Sam's small double. Bringing the covers around his brother he climbed in, Sam's body instantly moving towards the warmth, his dream world settling with Dean's presence.

"I'd never hurt you." Dean whispered, an arm draped across his brothers shoulders, his back resting against the hard frame of the bed as he held Sam tight. Relaxing, knowing that his brother was okay.

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The soft beat of Dean's heart was what brought Sam from his nightmare filled slumber. His body tight with pain, scrunching his face, fighting the urge to groan in discomfort, not wanting to wake his older brother.

It didn't matter though, Dean always knew when he woke from a nightmare, always knew when he was up from a pain filled slumber.

"You okay Sammy?" His voice sleep filled, Sam shook his head, not wanting his brother to leave. His mind was still trying to catch up to the night's events.

Flashes of guilt, pain, and remorse coursing through his system, remembering the little girl, the fight with his father, and the wolf that had blamed him.

Shifting his body, he hissed in pain, trying to move away from what had happened, his stitches pulling tight at the movement. Deans hand across him in an instant, quelling his movements and easing his tortured soul.

"Easy Sammy." He said, the voice void of the sleep it had held only moments ago.

"Dean…" his voice cracked, the one word holding so much emotion behind it, he didn't have to say anything else, Dean picked up on it all, holding him closer. Two pink pills appearing in front of his face, followed by a glass of water. Sam swallowed them hungrily, settling once again.

"It wasn't your fault." Dean's voice was quiet and soft.

"It shouldn't have happened." Sam replied, he knew he was right.

"She was a wolf Sammy, she would just keep killing, and you know that."

Sam's mind replayed the night, the large black wolf holding him down, "What if I was bitten?"

A shift of the shoulders and an exasperated sigh, "You weren't."

"But…"

"Sam, we'll deal with it if it happens, which it won't cause you weren't bitten."

Dean's authority shone through, the conversation was over, but Sam had to know, his voice growing weak as the pills started working, "What's so different between me and the girl?"

The emotions ran thick in the room, Sam could feel them rolling off his brother as he questioned him, forcing him to try and see what he saw, that nothing is as clear cut as their father makes it out to be.

Dancing around the topic of the little girl, "Sam, you have to trust me when I say I will deal with that situation if it ever comes up." His eyes staying locked with Sam's, reassuring him that everything would be fine.

Sam trusted his brother, but he wasn't sure everything was ever going to be fine.

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The moon shone bright in the sky, reflecting against his pale skin. His head resting against the cool Impala windshield, lost in his thoughts of the previous month.

"You need a tan there Sammy." Dean joked, sitting up on his precious car beside him.

Sam heard the joke for what it was, Dean had been terrified, the constant glances he had given Sam throughout the day, his need to be always know where Sam was, the thought of the full moon looming over his head.

"I guess its better than black fur." Sam replied, his tone easy, bringing his arms up under his head, looking up at the stars, his brother followed suit.

Their father had been oblivious to the tense air that had hung between the brothers all day. His suspicions rising only when Dean objected to going to a local bar, the onslaught of a sudden stomach virus rending him incapable of leaving the washroom. Their father hadn't questioned, his need to hunt, his need to make money to hunt, overruling over the concern he may have felt for his oldest boy.

Dean didn't leave the washroom until he was sure his father was gone, exiting the washroom, making eye contact with Sam. A smug smile across his face, hiding his worry, they both knew why he had stayed back.

"Would you have done it?" Sam asked, not having to clarify what _it _was.

"I'll always take care of you Sammy. Don't ever forget that."

A sad smiled dawned on Sam's lips, silence coming between them, it was a question neither one really wanted to have answered. So they sat, watching the heavens above, wondering when it would be their turn to join the stars.

**_AN: Thanks for reading I hope you liked it, it wasn't too chick flicky._**


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